I am not tired so I'm gonna rant a little to get out this pent up anger and frustration.
So, in august I want to move back to VA, but my mom is all like 'No you can't move, you're not going to move, You can't leave this house for a year' and I'm like 'WTF, I'm almost 19 years old i think i can move out' I don't want to be my brother who is 25 and is still living at home. I mean it not like i'm gonna move out and forget about my family like my brother did when he was away from college. most likely i will still be calling my mom everyday to have a random conversation because of boredom. I just can't live in my house because of constant nagging and screaming at each other and plus i need to start leaving independently. I'm not going to a real college so i can't enjoy being a college student and getting out of the house everyday to be with friends or just to get out of the house.
Right now i am only working so when i am at home I am with my family nonstop. ANYONE in that situation would feel the same way ii do. I just need to get away meaning i need to move out and just come home for major holidays and call almost everyday.

Ok so i'm trying to find a car before i move but it really hard for me to get a car because i do not make much. So I asked my mom if i was to get a car loan and she said 'NO because i dont make much' and then I asked if she can get one for me and then she said... well no she screamed 'YOU ARE NOT MOVING SO GET THAT OUT OF YOUR F***ING MIND' and i just said 'yes i am' and left the room. now we prolly wont talk for a while now and every time that ask to go look at cars she will say "No you are not moving back to VA so shut up about it"

I don't know what her problem is last year she told me i had to wait a year before i moved out and it been a year. Now she is saying that that now is different because she said that when we were living in VA and now because we are in TN i have to wait another year. WTF!!! make up your mind!!!! GRRRRRR......

but anyways i'm still moving no matter what she says when August comes i'm leaving this house.

I need people other than family to talk too and have with. i mean i get along with my mom as long as everything she likes, i talk to my dad but he doesn't listen half the time, same with my sis and if she doesn't like something i get hurt somewhere in the process of talking, the only time when i talk to my bro is when he needs money/something from me, or i need free tickets, or picking on me. I don't have a good relationship with my grandma (she doesn't like me very much) and my aunt is nice but thinks i'm annoying and i rarely talk to my cousins. the only cousins I talk to is my 9 yr old second cousin who is in LOVE with me(he now lives with his dad and i don't see him anymore) and my 5 yr old 2nd cousin who follows me like a little duck.

I think this is why i have issue with my self and meeting new people is hard for me because i think people will get annoyed of me and stop being my friend (this has happened) and i guess that why i have so many animals because even if i am the least bit upset the are always by my side making me smile and laugh and making it possible for me to survive everyday but it also helps when i have really great friends that I MISS SOOOO MUCH!

wow i made this journal go from anger to being really depressing... way to go me.
anyways thats all i got right now i have to be at work at 7am but i'm not sleepy at all. I'm prolly gonna have an all nighter again this week. I'm gonna watch one piece just 10 more episodes i will be caught up. Hooray!